These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods...



On Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.



On a bag of Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.



On a bar of Dial soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap.



On some Swann frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.



On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):

Do not turn upside down.



On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating.



On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

Do not iron clothes on body.



On Boot's Children's cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.



On Nytol sleep aid:

Warning: may cause drowsiness.



On a Korean kitchen knife:

Warning: keep out of children.



On a string of Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.



On a food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.



On Sainsbury's peanuts:

Warning: contains nuts.



On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.



On a Swedish chainsaw:

Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.



On a child's Superman costume:

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.