It has been said that the United States has the best
congressmen money can buy.


"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again."
-- quote from some US Senator...


Statesman: A politician who never got caught.


The major difference between death and taxes is that Congress can't make death any worse than it is.



One campaign consultant says he doesn't approve of political jokes. He's seen too many of them get elected.


Fax machines can have a great effect on politicians. Somebody just sent a fax message to every member of our state legislature. Each fax message was exactly the same: "The press has found out everything." Both houses of the legislature emptied out within thirty minutes.


The candidate called his wife and said, "Congratulate me, I've just won the election."
"Honestly, dear?" she said. "Now, why would you want to bring that up?" he grumbled.


"Are you a member of any organized political party?"
"No. I'm a Republican."