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.:: Our collection of Jokes, Laughs, and Really Funny stuff ::.
 
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  -- Total number of jokes on 2bone.com : 172 --
Jokes > Misc    >> more jokes in this category - click here <<
WALMART URINALYSIS  
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Walmart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Walmart. He
deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later,
the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and
masturbated into the mixture for good measure.

Jack hurries back to Walmart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten
dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. The computer
prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
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 -- Jokes in this category: 39 --  
below are more jokes in this category - click a title
   Time Please..     Supplies    
   Annoying things...     They grow up big!    
   Something about flying     Numbers of the beast    
   Quick minister..     Top 45 Oxymorons    
   It would be nice if..     More internet pearls of wisdom    
   Rules for driving in Vancouver     Circle flies    
   THAT was a bad week     Bubba & Earl    
   Senor, I must stay ..     Agent Murphy    
   Quasimodo groaner     Job Interview    
   Batting slump     Test of Bravery    
   Safecracking     Football officials    
   This Pastor walks into a bar..     LEARNING CHINESE    
   Message of the Day.     Because you are my friend...    
   THE MAN FROM THE DESERT     Good neighbours    
        things you wouldn't know    
   You're in the army now.     WALMART URINALYSIS    
   On Parking Tickets     As I've matured    
   A helpful priest     Quick ones    
   More quick ones     If you love to fly    
   Short little groaners        
 
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